National Adoption Awareness Month ~ Day 2: What Does it Feel Like From Where You Stand?

Dear Ms. Feverfew –


Yeah, I completely agree.

I have often wondered what November feels like from your point of view, especially since adoption awareness is part of your life’s rhythm. I dare say you don’t need a special month to make you even more aware of adoption. In the past few years, I have come across many articulate women who blog eloquently about their November experiences from their point of view as an adoptee. And I wonder…do you feel the same?

Does your adoptive family celebrate National Adoption Awareness Month? Did your adoptive parents take you and your four adopted siblings to rallies, demonstrations, and events to “celebrate” adoption? After all, they are the poster-parents for adoptive parents everywhere. Prominent white community members, wealthy, and educated with their menagerie of trans-racially adopted children trailing behind their picture perfect Mormon home. Nothing could be cuter than you and your sisters dressed up in matching outfits “celebrating” National Adoption Month, right?  Though I don’t know for a fact, I am almost certain there have been at least a few times in your life that you, your siblings, and your adoptive parents have been held up as an example of all that is good and right about adoption.

From what little I have gleaned about your personality from various sources including conversations with your adoptive mother, you are a thinking woman.  I am sure the irony of the month is not lost on you, just as it isn’t lost on many of the other adoptees I have come to know over the past year or two.  Celebrate adoption? Really? I believe Amanda over at The Declassified Adoptee; Christina at Out of the Fog; and Linda at Real Daughter have done an excellent job of getting to the heart of the matter: Celebrating the dissolution of natural families is kind of sick and twisted.

I wish I had more time this morning to write but life is clamoring at my office door. It’s Election Day which means all of the kids are home with me, including various neighbor children whose moms are working today. There’s laundry waiting to be folded, dishes waiting to be emptied out of the dishwasher (we all celebrated Election Day 2010 by devouring yummy homemade pumpkin chocolate chip pancakes), beds to be made, an adorable cooing baby to be nursed, floors to vacuum, bread to be made, plants longing to be watered, and blogs to read. Lots and lots of blogs to read (thank goodness for smart phones – I catch up on blog reading while I nurse the baby!) Oh. And a dissertation proposal to write.

Much love and belief –


P.S. Have you voted yet?

National Adoption Awareness Month ~ Day 1

Dear Ms. Feverfew –

Today marks the beginning of National Adoption Awareness Month when we as Americans are urged to “celebrate” adoption and advocate for adoption awareness.  November 20 is of particular importance because it is National Adoption Day and will be “celebrated” by thousands of adoptions being finalized in courtrooms across the nation.


Frankly, I don’t see how celebrating the dissolution of a family is ever a good thing. And do they really want me to advocate for adoption awareness? I can’t imagine the LDS Family Services, the LDS church, or the National Council for Adoption (NCFA) want me advocating for adoption awareness because my message is not one they will appreciate: Infant adoption as currently practiced in the U.S. is wrong. Period. It needs to be changed.

Laws need to be enacted to preserve and protect natural families when at all possible. I realize that it is not always possible to preserve a natural family as I know there will always be rare and special circumstances that necessitate infant adoption, but they are exactly that: RARE and SPECIAL. Laws need to be enacted to preserve an adoptee’s original identity. Falsified birth records need to be done away with entirely (thank you Georgia Tann for that little nugget, you evil monster of a person). Laws need to be enacted to preserve an adoptee’s access to their birth records – it is shocking and wrong that in this day and age, innocent victims of adoption are treated worse than convicted murderers (thank you again Georgia Tann for that little nugget, you evil monster of a person).

So this month, I am going to write you a letter every day, “celebrating” adoption in my own way and advocating for my version of adoption awareness. I think my first official act of National Adoption Month 2010 will be to write a letter to Microsoft, urging them to fix the stupid auto-spell feature that keeps telling me “adoptee” isn’t a word. Don’t you think adoptees have enough of an identity crisis without being marginalized by Microsoft every time they type anything about their life experience?

Much love and belief –