Dear Ms. Feverfew –
Yesterday, Dr. Keith Ablow, a psychiatrist and regular contributor to FoxNews, published the following opinion piece titled. “A Father’s Day Plea – Let’s Stop Anonymous Sperm Donations.” Take a minute and go read it. It’s important stuff.
In the piece, he writes,
Yet, without seemingly having given it much thought to it at all, our society now allows millions of men and women to create children who will never know their biological fathers. That’s because we sanction allowing men and women to purchase sperm from anonymous donors. These donors will forever be shielded from having their identities discovered by their sons and daughters.
This policy inherently presupposes that bearing children who have no opportunity to know their biological fathers does not deprive them of anything that is inherently theirs–as a fundamental human right.
It also presupposes that the biological connection between fathers and children is without much value at all–since in a wholesale (or shall I say, retail) manner, we sanction tens of millions of kids being born who have no idea whatsoever who their biological fathers are and can never find out, period.
None of this, by the way, has anything to do with adoption. When a child is adopted, many have the option of finding their parents later on. And even if they can’t, their adoptions into (hopefully) loving homes were a solution to other problems in their early lives that needed to be solved.
Artificial insemination by anonymous sperm donors solves no problem of any child. It is a convenience to adults who are encountering fertility problems and would prefer the convenience of jettisoning part of their child’s true life history in order to commandeer that child from its true biological father.
Uh…Dr. Ablow, I beg to differ. This issue has EVERYTHING to do with adoption and I would hazard a guess there are a host of others who agree with me. Adoptees across this nation of ours have had their true life history jettisoned for the convenience and comfort of their adoptive parents. Not having factual and accurate information about their TRUE LIFE HISTORY is JUST AS WRONG for adoptees as it is for the offspring of anonymous gamete donors (sperm or egg). Adoptees are not children of a lesser God simply because their adoption was a “solution” to an artificial “problem” (in our case) or real problem. They are just as deserving of factual information about their origins as every single other human being.
True, some adoptees are eventually able to get around the system of falsified and sealed birth records to discover their true origins, but as a matter of law, most cannot. And yes, some adoptees grow up in loving homes, but that doesn’t nullify their fundamental human rights.
Towards the end of the piece, Dr. Ablow says,
In my gut, I felt it would be wrong to have many children of mine born onto the planet inherently, irrevocably, forever disconnected from me.
He’s right. It is wrong to have children walking the planet inherently, irrevocably (in Utah, immediately when the TPR is signed), and forever (especially in the LDS church) disconnected from their biological parents. This is a Truth the adoption industry works overtime to cover up and obfuscate. It is a Truth most relinquishing mothers know in their guts as well, a Truth we must subvert deep into our psyche so we can survive the loss.
Dr. Ablow is right in more ways than that, too. The opportunity to know our biological parents is an inherent and “fundamental human right.” This is just as true for you and all other adoptees, too, not just offspring of anonymous gamete donations.