Keep Speaking It

Dear Ms. Feverfew –

I read this quote on a fellow first mama’s Facebook page and loved it. I thought I would share my Friday-night Photoshop fun with you:

I pray you have a stout heart and that you make a lot of people mad because you are telling your truth.

Much love,


P.S. So what’s your favorite go-to website for free fonts? Mine is I could spend hours there!!!


12 thoughts on “Keep Speaking It

  1. Just a question, I understand that you have been in touch with your daughter and she does not want a relationship at this time. I am not familiar with your entire story but this is the impression I have gotten from reading here once in a while.

    Why do you continue to address this blog as letters to her? Do you think she reads it? Nothing wrong with your expressing your thoughts and feelings like any blogger, but making it letters to your daughter at this point just seems strange and might be taken the wrong way by her as a kind of disrespect.

    By the way I know the feeling, I wrote many poems over the years “to” my son, but finally realized they were neither for him nor about him, but about me and had little to do with his inner reality which I did not know. I do not send them to him and regret that some of them are public. We do have a good relationship now but it is about the present, not the past. I may be wrong but feel that letters to an actual person should be private. A blog is something else altogether.

    • Maryanne –

      Thank you for your concern. I am happy to hear that you and your son have a “good” relationship, whatever that might mean to the both of you. However, I do not need to explain my reasons or motivations to you. I have watched and read your comments on other blogs and have intentionally tried to steer far, far, FAR away from you. May I suggest you do the same to me? If you find my writing so strange, unusual, or disrespectful, then you are entirely free to stop visiting and reading this blog. Have you considered doing so?

      I know you are amongst the crowd of folks that believes they engage in civil discourse, the ones who would say, “If you would just ask nicely, then certainly I would comply with your requests.” So here it is nicely: I respectfully and kindly ask you to stop reading these letters. Stop commenting on them. Stop wasting your time reading them. Stop fussing over some random blogger on the internet. I promise I will do the same for you.



  2. I love the saying, Mel. It’s perfect.

    I also disagree with what Maryanne suggested. I suppose I could also claim that since I have a good relationship with my son that I gave up for adoption that I have my own “wisdom” to share (or shove down your throat – which ever one you choose.)

    But the only wisdom I have to share is what I have seen here – ON YOUR BLOG. And what I have seen is a mother with great love and respect for ALL her children. One who is always very careful never to cause harm to any of them.

    There will always be those who believe it is their duty to tell you what to do, tell you how you are doing things wrong. But that is a reflection on them and the poor choices they make.

    Your reflection is you and how you handle yourself, your blog, and your love for your children. You do amazing on all sides of that and I, for one, am glad to be a follower of Letters To Ms. Feverfew!

  3. So true, so true. People freak out on me, put words that I never said in my mouth, inform me of things I am absolutely clear on, ie “Not everyone feels the way you do” Yeah, duh, I feel the way I do, it is my body, my head that feels this way. They tell me I don’t feel the way I do. That I need a second opinion on my own experience, that tender gem came from the great MAC herself.
    The fuzzy thinking, the refusal to see adoptees as capable of self-actualization. The idea that I should go to a professional so that professional can tell me how I feel.

    How do these people live their lives? I cannot believe that kind of thinking leads to a successful life/career. How could it?

    I love your awesome blog by the way. I think your letters are thoughtful, heartfelt, and the letter format is a touching literary device.

  4. Your blog is one of the best. I’m glad you share with us. Adoption is so bad. My father’s family tells me I should be happy I was given up. My father says I have a great family so I should just forget about being adopted. My mother says my drama is over the top. My a mom says she didn’t do anything wrong. I need to hear truth sometimes, and you always deliver.

    • I am sorry your parents are not supportive of you in this area of your life, Michele. Being adopted does matter, even if you were raised by amazing parents. Your drama is not over the top, it’s a natural reaction to the ambiguous loss of losing your family of origin. It isn’t you that is broken for feeling and reacting this way, it is society and the adoption culture at large that is broken.

      Have you connected with any of the lovely and brave women over at Lost Daughters yet? They are a group of women bloggers who are all adoptees and are in all different kinds and stages of relationships with their natural and adoptive families. Most of the women who blog there also have their own blogs, too. I have a feeling if you start reading the words of your “tribe”, you will find the support you are not getting at home to learn to live with the loss of your family of origin. You may even find the resources to help your parents understand that being adopted might not matter to them, but it matters to you!

      Take care –


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s