Dear Ms. Feverfew –
I took a little sabatical over the past couple of weeks. I needed a break from all the bloggity-drama. You know that silly life some folks accuse me of not having? Well, I actually have one and it has been pretty busy these past couple of weeks. Frankly, I didn’t have time to babysit this blog. Perhaps I could have just disabled comments, but I needed some time to just rest and regroup as well. And rest and regroup I did. It has been a productive 14 days.
Among the other various duties I perform as a mother of three and active member of my church and community, I read a number of books. Here’s the list in no particular order:
- Ambiguous Loss: Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief by Pauline Boss
- Loss, Trauma, and Resilience: Therapeutic Work with Ambiguous Loss by Pauline Boss
- One Second After by William Forstchen
- The Rules of Inheritance: A Memoir by Claire Bidwell Smith
- The Bird Artist by Howard Norman
- Don’t Call Me Mother: Breaking the Chain of Mother-Daughter Abandonment by Linda Joy Myers
- Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss by Hope Edelman
- Mini-Farming: Self-Sufficiency on 1/4 Acre by Brett Markham
Yes, I really read that many books in the past 14 days. Don’t hate me for it. If rumors are true, you are a voracious reader as well. But it isn’t the number that is important, it is the content of the books, particularly the ones about ambiguous loss and mothers and daughters. They have helped validate my experience as a mother who lost her child to adoption and the subsequent years of unsupported grief brought about by this ambiguous loss. I *highly* recommend them to any natural parent or adoptee who is struggling with unsupported and disenfranchised grief, especially in a culture that celebrates adoption loss and dresses it up with unenforceable post-adoption platitudes and monthly “care” packages for birth mothers.
I have more to say but it’s late and my husband just popped up on Skype so I am going to go chat with him for a bit and then go to bed. I just thought I would let you know that I still love you, I still think you deserve unfettered access to your original birth certificate and adoption records, and I still think adoption in the United States needs some serious reform.