Dear Ms. Feverfew –
I have started about eight different letters in the past week but not finished one of them. I am not sure why, but I am disconnected and out of joint. Perhaps it is because my husband left for an 11 week business trip on Wednesday. Perhaps it is because March is swiftly headed my way. Perhaps it is because I turn 40 years old later this year. Perhaps perhaps perhaps. I don’t know the reason but I do know that the words are stuck somewhere between the seat of my soul and my fingertips and I can’t seem to shake them loose. My silence isn’t because you are forgotten (for you never are far from my thoughts as you reside in that same mansion in my heart with my other children), it is for reasons yet undiscovered.
This last summer as I was floating on my back in the pool one evening at around 11:00 p.m. The water in my ears muffled the night sounds as I picked out the constellations and planets one by one from the inky darkness spreading above. And I thought of you and wondered, do you ever think of me when you are out watching the heavens? Are you as fascinated with them as I? Do you ever see your name written in the cosmic dust of the Milky Way? If you do, that is me. I wrote it there for you so you will always know how loved and how important you are to me.
So I give you this on this starry January night, a poem.
We only part to meet again
Though mighty boundless waves may sever
Remembrance oft shall bring thee near
And I will with thee go forever
And oft at midnights silent hour
When brilliant planets shall guide the ocean
Thy name shall rise to heaven’s highest star
And mingle with my soul’s devotion
[Often attributed to Edgar Allen Poe but actually translated from the Arabic by Tani Jantsang]