Dear Ms. Feverfew –
Since I wrote that post the other day about my sister Melyine, I have come to understand that part of cleaning up the aftermath of the adoption is going to have to include rebuilding relationships with all of my sisters that are still alive.
Each one is precious to me but each relationship has been profoundly affected by my relinquishing you for adoption, and not in a positive way. Part of reclaiming the lost pieces of my motherhood include reclaiming the lost relationships with my sisters because they are part of me, they are part of my story. I cannot be whole without them.
I know that now. I can sense it deep in my bones. I don’t know how to have a relationship with my sisters though, not in the adult sense. I know how to survive the tragedy of our child together, but I don’t know how to be friends with them now.
So this next year I am dedicating learning how to be a sister again. Melynie, Ellynore, Angelyn, Julyn – this one’s for you.
I want them in my life again if they are willing to have me.