Do you remember last spring when Brandon Davies was kicked off the BYU basketball team for getting Jayci Stephens pregnant? Remember how happy she appeared to be to give their baby away to strangers (nice, decent and good ones, I am very sure, but strangers nonetheless)? Remember my long and drawn out response to Red-Hot telling me I was a bitter birthmother?
Well, Jayci has had the baby. I think I remember hearing it was in October some time, I am not certain. I am also not certain if she went through with her “adoption plan” either. Did Jayci end keeping her son? Or did she actually give him away as she had first planned? Did she realize that despite a not so ideal beginning, she could be a wonderful mother? Or did she cave to societal pressure?
I don’t know. She has a wonderful picture on her facebook profile right now of her little one snuggled up on her chest, resting his sweet little head under her chin, his ear pressed against her, listening to her heart beat. I don’t know who is sitting beside her on the couch, leaning in towards her. Her dad, perhaps? This baby’s grandfather? I just don’t know.
What I do know is that I hope for both her and her son that he is still with his mama. The thought of that brings tears to my eyes. I know, I know, I KNOW. There is a time and a place for adoption but…this wasn’t one of them. Unless Jayci proves herself to be an unfit mother, her son deserves and is entitled to be with her.
So bottom line, I don’t know if she relinquished her son for adoption or if she decided to parent. That picture could have been taken pre-relinquishment. I know adoption is what she was planning earlier in her pregnancy but did she go through with it? And then I ask myself, “Would it matter one way or the other?” Technically, no, it her decision to parent or to relinquish doesn’t affect my daily life but on the other hand…on the other hand it would mean one less mother and one less child out there trying to find a way to overcome the gaping bloody wounds brought about by the “miracle and blessing” of adoption. And that would bring a certain measure of peace to my heart.
I guess I could go digging a bit more and find out what happened but I have to be truthful and say that I don’t think I could handle finding out she had relinquished her son for adoption. Because I know what is in store for her 20 years down the road.
Edited to add: Just went and looked through her tweets. I can see the code-speak. I am pretty sure she went through with the relinquishment. You can read them in the comments section.