Screwed Up Birthmothers

Dear People Who Keep Googling “Screwed Up Birthmothers” and Find This Blog Instead:

Did you read the letter you landed on, the one titled “Dear Birth Mother: Screw You“?

If you are wondering why your own birth mother/birthmother might be screwed up, read that letter again and then imagine living an entire lifetime with that kind of vitriol directed at you by society.

Oh yes, we are such “angels doing God’s work” for selflessly giving away our babies to others so they can “build a family”, but the moment those documents are finalized? We become whores who couldn’t keep our legs shut, who then abandoned our unwanted babies and don’t deserve to ever have a relationship with them because we are “screwed up birthmothers.”

Well, at least in the eyes of our society that’s what we are.

Those of us who walk this path know differently. Those of the public who have taken the time to understand the atrocity that is womb-fresh infant adoption know differently.

So perhaps landing here on this blog will be the beginning of an education for you, an education in which you learn that losing a child to adoption is generally a catastrophic event in a woman’s life and frankly, does leave her a wee bit screwed up. So have some compassion on a woman who society discarded and for whom there is precious little aftercare as she struggles through life, trying to piece together some form of happiness.

Compassion. Tolerance. Love. Patience.

And yes, even if your birthmother really is a screwed up crack whore, she still needs compassion, love, tolerance, and patience, too.

It won’t be easy, I know, and she most likely won’t “deserve” it, but try it anyway. Did you ever think to ask why or wonder how she became that way? Now might be a good time to do that. It doesn’t mean you have to spend Christmas at her house or take her on your next cruise or leave her half of your estate in your will, but it does mean stretching yourself and your abilities to put yourself in another person’s shoes and see them as God sees them.


Not a Screwed Up Crack Whore Birthmother, Just a Woman Who Got Screwed Over By Her Church and Society

10 thoughts on “Screwed Up Birthmothers

    • Unfortunately Teddy, those mothers considering adoption who do read this post will most likely dismiss it as just the rantings of a bitter old woman who doesn’t know how WONDERFUL “modern” adoption can be.


      • Hey, you’re not old yet, and only a bit bitter and ranting, but that with full justification. And dismissing you? Not so much if she is only considering, that is, still distrusting the bait of the adoption agencies. Remember what I said about cynicism?

  1. I wonder how many people Google “Wack Job Adopters”, you know, who believe that some god allowed some woman to become pregnant just so they could covet her infant? Just sayin…

    • I think google points them to my blog because of that “Dear Birth Mother, Screw You” post I wrote. At least that is what I am telling myself.

      P.S. You wouldn’t believe the other combination of phrases related to “mother” and “screw” that point people to this blog. I have a pretty good hunch it isn’t exactly what they are looking for! I imagine they weren’t looking for a blog written by a fairly spiritual woman who writes blog posts full of scripture and quotes prophets.

      • It just seems sad that so many people are searching for that phrase at all. I guess there are a lot of us screwed up mothers out there. 🙂

        I didn’t even think of that, lol!

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