It’s a Small Freakin’ World, Dang It

It has been said that being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints means the world becomes very small. You can always find someone who knows someone or who is related to someone you once knew. Always. Even with 13+ million members worldwide, the odds of winning this strange version of Six Degrees of Separation is fairly high.

So…that coupled with the even more insular world of adoption blogging, replete with its own striated caste system, makes for some interesting Six Degrees of Separation game playing.

To whit: I was recently sent an email from a ward member looking for donations of items to sell at a fund raiser for Girl’s Camp this summer. The point of contact had an unusual last name I have come to recognize over the past six months.


I went a poked around a couple of “adoption-is-such-a-miracle-and-a-blessing-happy-happy joy-joy I-lurv-my-birthmommies-and-my-birth-mommies-lurv-me” blogs and sure enough, there it was.

The unusual last name.

I poked around some Facebook accounts and low and behold, there was that unusual last name again. This time attached to the accounts of people I am friends with on Facebook.


Turns out “happy-happy joy-joy I-lurv-my-birthmommies-and-my-birth-mommies-lurv-me” blogger’s extended family attends the same church building I do and lives not too far from me.  I knew they were in the area – I thought they were members of a ward much further south of here.  What are the chances that we would both end up here?

Interesting. Small world.

I know I have met the extended family members of the “happy-happy joy-joy I-lurv-my-birthmommies-and-my-birth-mommies-lurv-me” blogger. I know they don’t have a clue about how I feel about adoption and what their offspring have done (and continue to advocate to do) to other women just like me. They probably wouldn’t be so nice to me if they knew.

Well, maybe they would be nicey-nice to my face and tell me what a “hero” I am for giving such a wonderful gift to another family. Then I would have to go home and brush my teeth because anytime someone calls me a “hero”  for giving you away to strangers, the bile rises in the back of my throat as a wave of nausea comes crashing down.  Then they would go home and over their Sunday dinner discuss how shocked they are that a woman “like me” could have been a girl “like that” because I don’t seem like “that kind of person.”

If we were staying here any longer, I might try to strike up a more meaningful relationship with them to give them a differing view of what adoption does to a family. I might ever so casually tell them how I know their offspring and how “well” I have been spoken of by their devotees.

However, since I am moving in like…19 days, *sigh* what’s the use?


2 thoughts on “It’s a Small Freakin’ World, Dang It

  1. Not only “what’s the use” but also they would I’m sure just chalk it up to you being “damaged” or wrong because their “happy-happy joy-joy I-lurv-my-birthmommies-and-my-birth-mommies-lurv-me” family member isn’t like that/doesn’t have that kind of an adoption and their’s is a “beautiful thing.” I’ve seen it more times then I care to remember and they just write off your opinion/experiences as not the norm or wrong and go about their merry way.

    Don’t you hate the all too often common connections when you don’t want them there?

    • You nailed it on the head, Desi! I wonder how far away I will have to move to get to a place where that silly “Do you know” game does lead me straight into situations like this.

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