So….this last week was strange. Lots of sad news and interesting connections made, topped off by my dissertation proposal defense (passed, no revisions, I am now officially all but dissertation – “ABD” in pointy-headed speak).
Finding out about my mom’s close friend being so gravely ill has been a blow to our family. The doctors discovered she has late stage Acute Onset Adult Leukemia as an underlying condition, which explains why she was not able to fight off the bronchial infection. She is still lingering in the hospital, her family unwilling to remove her from life support despite the fact her organs have essentially shut down and there is no brain activity.
Then came the news of fellow first mother KiwiRose’s passing. This has been a crushing blow which left me staggering for days. I have followed her blog since I discovered it last fall and it has been absolutely gut-wrenching to watch her spiral downward, knowing there was little I could do to cushion her decent. The reasons for suicide are difficult to understand but this is one of those times where frankly, I understand her pain. I get it. I did not choose the same path but very easily could have.
My heart aches for her and for the daughters she left behind. I hope – no, I have to believe – the moment she slipped through to the other side of the veil, she was met by outstretched arms and enfolded in the love only He who can heal the pain of losing a child to adoption, Jesus Christ, can offer. Certainly she will have to work things out with God in the due course of things, but I think He understands her pain. He gets it. May she rest easy in His grace and tender mercy.
And then to spend Friday afternoon defending my dissertation proposal and having it pass without any of my committee members requiring one single change to any of the three studies I proposed. ASTOUNDING. They all mentioned how it was one of the best proposals they had read in recent years which floored me – I was totally prepared for revisions and having to argue my point with this group of people but no….The most “difficult” question I had to field was from Dr. B., the Dean of Graduate Studies who said, “Melynda, the only major concern is on page 13 when you use the word ‘between’ when referring to more than two groups. You do know it should be ‘among’, right?”
Uh…*blush*…yes. And I will make sure never to forget to check for that again, Dr. B.
Then to discover the strange coincidence of my Bishop and his wife being closely acquainted with your family…the fact that they have seen you, played with you, and known you. Oh man.
Yesterday, I talked with the Bishop’s wife at church and she told me of how crazy in love your older sisters are with you and that you have always been the delight of your family. She said, “When I first met [Ms. Feverfew], there was something so…radiant, so unique about her. She was and has always been so special and just…going places. And now to think I have met her mom! I have met her MOM!!!!”
It was a crazy conversation to be having in the foyer of a church thousands of miles away from where you live. Crazy stuff indeed.
So it was just a crazystrange week filled with tears of sadness, tears of gratitude, and tears of jubilation. It was a week of immense spiritual and emotional growth for me and I am still pondering all these things in my heart, trying to make sense and order of them all. I just wanted to let you know I am so pleased to hear from others good reports about your life and your family. While it hurts, it helps all at the same time.