Dear Ms. Feverfew –
As I have ventured into the realm of post-first contact, I have been struck by the imbalance in this topsy-turvy world of adoption where children call their mother a stranger and a stranger their mother.
There seems to be a lot of us on both sides of the equation who are longing for a relationship with the Other, but the Other (for whatever reason) doesn’t want to have a relationship with us. Adoptees who want to be a part of their natural mothers’ lives but their natural mothers are too damaged, broken, unfeeling (for whatever reason) to be able to let them back in. Natural mothers who want to be a part of their now-adult child’s life but their now-adult child is to damaged, broken, unfeeling (for whatever reason) to be able to let her back in.
Why can’t the the (un)natural mothers who don’t want to have anything to do with their children be the mothers of the adoptees who don’t want to have anything to do with their natural parents? And why can’t the natural mothers who long to know their now-adult children be the mothers of adoptees who would rejoice to know their natural mothers?
Am I making any sense at all, or just talking in circles here? Natural mothers who want to know their kids + kids who want to know their natural mother = The Way it Should Be. In my perfect world, that’s how it would be.
Wait. No, that’s not how it would be. In my perfect world, there would be no need for adoption. Ever.
Much love and belief in the glorious creation that you are –