What makes us leave what we love best? – Jan 14, 7:40 a.m.

Sheesh, you ask tough questions, don’t you? (Love his poetry, BTW and why am I not surprised you quote Zone Journals?) I can’t figure out how to answer that question of yours either…at least not right now.  I am still trying to sort through my personal responsibility in your relinquishment (after all, “no one held a gun to my head and made me sign the papers” – yes a lovely quote from a sibling of mine…) and the societal and cultural influences that triangulated to convince me I would never possess the “qualifications” to parent you and that you were entitled to more than my love for you.

Today while I was making a cake with the good Professor, I marveled at the deep chasm of a trance I had to have been in to have left what I love best – one of my children – you.  I simply cannot conceive of the woman I am today ever considering that as a possibility for one of her most beloved treasures. And yes, you were and still are one of my most beloved treasures. I will always count you among the jewels in my crown.

Much love,

M.